I really, truthfully, definitely, have no idea.
This has just become a space where I pour out what I have in my head,
It can be gaming, travelling, reading, exercising , the frequent brain farts here, there. The lessons I learnt.
The stories I heard
It is just money spent on a digital, journal notebook. Which isnt so bad, a subscription on WordPress cost as much or maybe more or less, a moleskin notebook every writer rave about.
My goal on writing a blog is because it could be a place where I can-
- share my thoughts,
- upkeep my language skills as I live in my hometown where English is not the main language and it would be a waste of years and years of studying the language,
- a diary of places I travelled, the games I played, the books I read,
- a log on how I tackled health,
- a collection of lessons in life and where it came from,
- memories preserved,
- a legacy for my future generation (look grandpa did this when he was 20!)
- a chronicle on how I lived.
But even more so, I believe that stories – serves as a lesson, an escape and a connection.
A lesson on how to be. An escape from familiarity. A connection between another.
Graduating from University, instantly thrusts you into the huge, wide world. And now, I am at the age where most people would feel unsure of what to do or where I am going. At least, that is what I am feeling now.
Grind through frustrations for wealth?
Learn to enjoy what you have to do?
Seek what you enjoy and be satisfied?
I really have no idea what I want and yet, unsatisfied with what I need to do.
So, I decided to take a gap year after a 3 year job where I feel that I am working and yet, not. Everyday just passed as another day. Like a factory machine, an endless cycle of action filled with feeling of mundanity – to the point that you have loss sense of dates and time.
“Wait, what day is it? I can’t tell…I have been doing this everyday. Lets just call everyday ‘Monday’.”
The reason for that gap year was that I wanted to take time, and discover -what, how, where and when-.
“What” is my aspirations
“How” to dispose of my childish dispositions
“Where” do I really want to be
“When” to -grow up- and accept realities
It is already the 6th month of my gap year. And I still have no idea.
But, I will still look forward, to the day where I will know the answers and, the excitement Teddy (Robin Williams’ Theodore Roosevelt) has for tomorrow.
Larry: I have no idea what to do tomorrow…
Teddy: How exciting!
– Conversation between Larry & Teddy, Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
Life is like being lost, apparently.
The more you struggle,
The more confused you get about which path to take.
A person’s life is very long.
It is much too early for you to decide who you are.
So, there is no need to rush things.
Take your time, and enjoy the journey.
– An Advice from an Old Man