Questions adapted from Fit at Last by Ken Blanchard & Tim Kearin
- What have you been wanting to do for a long time but haven’t yet been able to accomplish?
- On a scale 1 to 10, with 1 being dreadful and 10 being excellent, how would you rate your current fitness level?
- What New Year’s resolutions have you made in the past that you didn’t keep?
- What happened? What can you do to ensure this won’t happen again?
- How many compelling reasons can you think of for improving your fitness level?
I want to do lots of things. I want to join my friends on hikes, go on fun runs, stuff my face with festivities without worry. But most of all, in a long time, is to gain the confidence, in my body and in my mind. Narcissistically speaking, I want the confidence that every picture with me in it, is great. Or even simpler- to be comfortable taking my shirt off in public. The confidence that people would look at my face and listen to what I have to say – although that has nothing to do with fitness.
My fitness level is nothing sort of great. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say a 3. I am unable to do high impact exercises, due to gout in my ankle – which causes it to easily be inflamed. Even push-ups wear me out easily. A 10-minute jog would leave me breathless.
New year resolutions get made every single year, and every year, none of it achieved. And not surprisingly, “to be healthier” has always made it on that list. I would be in earnest after the list was made, and as the year goes by, my enthusiasm would dwindle and then come to a screeching halt. It would almost always take a moment where my plan does not as planned that brings my resolution to a stop. I have to do everything as planned or do not do them at all. However ‘winging’ it does not help me either as I would feel that there is no push to go on.
I tried getting my parents to be the accountability for this journey. However, my father would often say I do not exercise when I did. It is as if I have to report to him if I did or did not, or that I have to do it for his eyes to see or it did not happen. He expects me to come out having a 6-pack and it just does not happen overnight. Missing a session does not mean that I will not get it either. On the other hand, my mother would obsess over what I eat – so much that it sickens me. Nag after nag, not allowing me to eat something just because she read an article her friends sent to her, which was obviously 80% hoaxes, 10% ‘old people’ fear, and 10% truth. This effort to seek accountability from them turns out to be suffocating and dampening to my spirits.
The only thing I should have done is to resolute myself that I am doing all this for myself. Not for others to see – Well, maybe a little for others to see, but certainly I have to do it for myself first and foremost.
So, I have just come back from a series of doctor visits (which I would document in subsequent posts) but what gripes me after my return was that everyone around me seems to turn into an expert upon hearing that I am sick.
“Eat these, it will cure you for sure!”
“Do not eat that, it is not good for you.”
“Do not take the medicines the doctor gave you! Have these instead.”
…were a few of the many things these so-called experts say.
Well, sorry? Are you a doctor?
Did you study to be one?
Did you spend time studying said disease?
Do you have any qualifications or scientific backings to say such claims?
Do you suffer from the same disease?
Do you have personal experiences surrounding the disease?
Did you actually cure someone to total health?
No, No and No. So stop acting like idiots and stop acting as if you are experts. Yes, sometimes the medical industry has its questionable practices. You may not trust them, but really, all those home remedies or stuff you see online…do they actually fair better than a doctor’s recommendation?
So, stop reminding me that I am not what I am supposed to be – in good health. I ought to be – but I am not. Stop making me think that chose to be in this situation because I had no idea then. Stop going on and on, as if you are the know-it-all when you don’t. Stop saying things as if it wasn’t that bad when you do not understand how painful it can be.
Why don’t we sit down and have a nice talk about how lovely the weather is today.
(F*ck its hot!)