It is now March of 2021. Kinda – VERY – late for a year in review post. But here we are. In retrospect, the world started going downhill beginning March of 2020.
2020 was a roller coaster. We almost went into World War 3, hell literally brewing up in the form of wildfires, racial injustices finally got to its peak and then – the pandemic. In my personal life, 2020 revealed much even though I lived pretty much like hermit for the whole year.
Hair got to a length it has never been, and while hair lengthens – relationships cut. Staying at home revealed to me that my introvert ass actually has not much a of social circle or a solid friendship – locally. ‘Locally”? – I do have friends over the net and because of my life that transpired not here in my home country. And I realized that in this lonesome year – I do not know how to make friends. I suck at it. I was just waiting for an extrovert to adopt me. And being 94% introvert (yeah I did that test), I drowned in the fog of lockdown protocol and my extrovert friends forgot about me.
Business did not fare well either. Like almost any businesses during this dark period – profits went down. And mouths still need to be legally kept and fed. I would feel conflicted – I was stressed not because I had many things to do but there is nothing to do. For 2 months, the office was closed. There was a lockdown protocol, our customers close – we close. There was nothing to do and pretty much the things we can do – can be done remotely (luckily). As the protocol eases, the sunlight creeps through the office windows. We began to open and be in business and now, hustling to cover the losses.
With all that free time, one would think that one will spend the time to hone skills, give healthkick a kick and/or simply do one’s hobby. I tried the blogging thing yeah – I had series of “Covidiaries” where I would reflect on pandemic events. I will play games on backlog. and kickstart the ‘Health Project’. These I still try to do. However, close to the end of the year – everything just did not seem fun anymore. I recently learn the word for that is ‘Anhedonia’. I would have a case of writer’s block. I would stop playing games at close to the end and start another and then get bored. I stopped enjoying book time. Health butt-kickery goes to the back of my mind. People would think I have a depression.
Maybe I do – I do not know. I would not risk getting to a hospital and see a shrink in a pandemic. Heck, I would not even go get a haircut (though I eventually did get…my haircut). Maybe it is not depression…just a serious case of mental inertia.
That was my 2020. Recent health scare kickstarted my ‘Health Project’. Here I am rebooting my writing desire – I might repost those ‘Covidiaries’.Business is kind of picking up as vaccines came and lockdown protocols ease up. My case of anhedonia seemingly to lessen – I am enjoying things I used to enjoy. Maybe 2021 will turn out to be a bit brighter – don’t want to jinx it now would we.